Fairy non-bio capsules. The clean scent massages my nostrils. I have decided to do this properly. Warm shower. Fresh pyjamas. Preparation complete. I tenderly lift the oversized cream cushions (for decoration purposes only!) and place them carefully on the floor.
Next step: delayering. Rolling the checkered bedspread to the foot of the bed, I order myself to suppress my excitement. To lose control would ruin the moment.
There they are. Crisp and delicately fragranced. Aching muscles and bones are seconds away from mallowed bliss. I carefully fold the corner of the duvet back. This is the moment.
Go on left! In you go right! Snuggle, snuggle, snuggle. A long sniff of the pillow. A balletic glide of feet and legs between bed sheet and duvet. Second position, the obligatory starfish. My body melts into the mattress. Bed and I are one.
Soft lids, falling, falling, falling. Cosy loveliness blankets my skin.
One lid opens. Quickly! Close it! Ignore it. It’s my imagination.
There it is again! This can’t be happening. Please, no.
Denial turns to anger in a flash. Whirling from belly to my brain. The inhumanity!
I NEED TO PEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!